Everyone has friends that they never see anymore, that friend who you used to speak to everyday at school, 5 days a week and even weekends, but as we grow up and our lives enter separate paths, and school isn’t a common thing anymore, the relationship disappears.
Its when you bump into them on the street and we avoid at all costs having that awkward conversation, you merely smile and say “you alright” and carry on walking. in response we smile back, and carry on walking.
when really we want to say.
Am I alright? well, no, I’m not alright, I’m tired, really tired. I’m battling through things I’ve never battled before. I have a job now, and i study at the same time. I worry about money, and about grades. i have to deal with girls, who don’t like me, and deal with guys that will never like me the way I do. I ache, I ache ALOT, I get minimal sleep and i despise the girls on the TV with the teeny tiny waists, so instead of using time to study I spend my time running miles on a tread mill. and in-between that i attempt to juggle a social life, which is potentially also failing. i have to remember to tidy my room, or put things away or my folks get annoyed, and also remember to get my deadlines for sixth form met, plus remember to eat, so most of the time I’m starving also. so alonside hunger pains, my life in general is a pain.
growing up is hard.
so next time you say “you alright” and walk past. think. what if i did say no.
pick up the phone and see me. don’t forget about the friends you used to have.
do i want a realtionship is a whole different ball park, - with me im the type of person, not to go looking, you have to wait for that spark, or that moment, when you connect with somone and a relaise. wow this is what i want.